loader
Post Image
FeaturedNews

GOOD THINGS FESTIVAL: TISM EXCLUSIVE: Scott’s Real Concession Speech

TISM last night overheard the ex-prime minister deliver his real concession speech in the building recently named after him; they were hiding by the windows, whilst he stood in the Morrison Hotel, by the doors.
 
Mr. Morrison: Let me first clarify one thing. Some people are claiming I intended to win the recent federal election, and so remain this country’s leader. I reject this entirely. No fair-minded person, once having closely studied our policies for the future or our performances in the past, could have thought we were serious about running this country. After all, one of our candidates was Alan Tudge. Moreover, I have put this charge before the infallible judge upon whose deep wisdom and moral probity I have always relied – and Phil Gaetjens has concluded he agrees with me. Some may quibble Phil was investigating the very person he works for, but that wouldn’t bother him, as he’s used to it.

            These scurrilous accusations are as false as the criticism that I am an untrustworthy bully. Untrustworthy? Look at what I did when Josh fecklessly blew $19 billion on JobKeeper. Imagine what I’d’ve said if he’d been a Labor treasurer! Imagine! Nine-teen-bill-i-on! Yet I have never once spoken to him about it. Not once. This shows what a supportive leader I was.

            And a bully? Well, first off, these accusations seem mainly to be made by women, which shows half of the population never had a problem with me. Second, women aren’t powerless because men like me despise them; men like me despise them because they’re powerless. I would never bully anyone who has power over me, and I’m no sexist: that includes a powerful woman. If I ever met one, I’d prove it.

            After all, I have a wife and daughters, as seeing Jenny often reminds me. And where are women more respected than within the family? If I didn’t believe this, would I have had a deputy prime minister like Barnaby Joyce? As Barnaby told us often during the same-sex marriage debate, he supports the family. In fact, he supports the family so much, that he’s got two of them. He was too modest to mention this at the time, which I think says a lot about the man.

            It may be that, to some cynical journos, I might have looked and sounded like I wanted to win this election. Well, they can follow what they’re told by their senses – but I grew up being taught there are other, better things to believe in. If there’s one thing my faith has shown me, it’s that if nothing is true, everything is possible. I have always strongly supported Australians’ right to freely choose the beliefs they want to force on other people. My own strict Christian faith allows me, for instance, to ignore not only the many explicit, written, unambiguous biblical injunctions that prohibit charging interest on loans, but also to disregard the fifteen centuries of Christian practice during which those rules were enforced; whilst at the same time, I bind myself whole-heartedly to always following that same Bible and those same centuries of tradition regarding, say, the roles of men and women. This instinct I have to instantly choose to believe whatever I want, whenever I want to – a habit of mind taught to me by my faith – was the basis of my political career. To me, it doesn’t matter so much what we do with power – more important to me is that it is us doing it. As all Australians know, we Liberals don’t mind institutions having great wealth and influence. But they’ve got to be the right institutions. Why, banks robbed, cheated, provided criminals with millions in laundered cash, sold products to dead people – we backed them to the hilt. But the superannuation industry not only provides working people with protection from the vicissitudes and poverty of old age, but it also invests in green energy, was set up by Paul Keating, and is often controlled by the unions. No wonder we hate them. All Australians can see the difference. I want to make this clear: Jesus is universal and super, but that doesn’t mean he supports universal super.

Finally, let me ask all Australians: did I lose the election? Did I? After all, I’ll be back – if not me, my ideas will be. And you don’t need a majority to win over Australia to my way of doing things. You just need (to use the phrase of Joe Hockey, a person who grew up trained in the demanding moral ethics of real estate agents) is a committed minority who are lifters, not leaners; who lift themselves, no matter what, disregarding others, rather than lean on their fellow man in the repugnant belief that we have mutual obligations to a common good. In this way, my rule lives on. People sensed in me a hard nut of selfishness, a bullshitter’s ability to win through, a faculty for ignoring any legitimate grievance if it conflicts with my self-interest. Everyone has had a boss like me – the bloke you bitch about only after he’s left the staff area. (You wait because he’s the boss: what a great exemplar of power!) It was important that not only was I a bullshitter, but that I was an incompetent bullshitter. If Australia is a country where only the talented, the original, the creative or the competent get success, where does that leave people like me, who only have rat-cunning? My example has shown the nation it needn’t be so. As Josh points out, we threw all that JobKeeper money at rich business people because they might not have applied for it if they had to pay it back. Of course, they would only have had to pay back the stuff they didn’t deserve to get. And that’s not the LNP way. If the Australian business class only gets what it deserves, what’s the point of government at all? And where would it stop? Why, people deserve good health care, fine schools, a maggot-free lunch in aged care, but you didn’t see us doing that. Besides, robo-debt showed how we got poor people to pay back even the stuff they did deserve. In the end, it all balances out. Only an idiot can’t see the system works. I may be out of office, but I’m not out of power. You don’t need everyone to be like me; you only need enough of us to not do our bit, drop the hose, decline refuge to the powerless, ignore the sick, disrespect the peacemaker, and I truly believe then the spirit of self-interest will do its holy work, and so force the rest to abandon the common good and act the same. I’m changing Australia in small increments, and soon it’ll be like climate change: too late to change back.

This is why it is impossible for me to have wanted to remain this country’s leader. I was never a leader.
 
TISM [attempting a gotcha question]: Can you name the seven dwarves?
 
Mr. Morrison: Of course! I loved them all as a kid, and tell Jenny she should read their story to ours. There’s Self-Importance, Duplicity, Flim, Flam, Smoke, Mirrors, and, lastly, loveable Colbeck.
 
TISM: Is it true that you will play live with us during the Good Things festival in Melbourne, Sydney, and Brisbane on December 2nd, 3rd and 4th?
 
Mr. Morrison: I reject the premise of your question. However, I can certainly see why TISM has decided to play live again. Now myself and my cabinet are out of office, there is an opening for public appearances by grotesque clowns.
 
TISM: Can you at least confirm Tim Smith, ex-member for Kew, will be driving the TISM tour bus?
 
Mr. Morrison: Shit yeah. No brainer.
 
TISM’s preferred pronouns: Shithead/Smartarse.

Good Things Festival Line Up

Bring Me The Horizon | Deftones | NOFX (performing ‘Punk In Drublic’ in full + all your favorites) | TISM (Exclusive: First shows in 19 years!) | The Amity Affliction | Gojira | ONE OK ROCK
 
In Alphabetical Order:
 
3OH!3 | Blood Command | Chasing Ghosts | Cosmic Psychos | Electric Callboy
Fever 333 | Jinjer | JXDN | Kisschasy (Performing ‘United Paper People’ In Full)
Lacuna Coil | Millencolin | Nova Twins | Polaris | RedHook | Regurgitator
Sabaton | Sleeping With Sirens | Soulfly | The Story So Far | Thornhill
 

DATES AND VENUES:
Friday 2nd December – Flemington Racecourse, Melbourne (LIC AA 15+)
Saturday 3 December- Centennial Park, Sydney (18+)
Sunday 4 December – Brisbane Showgrounds, Brisbane (LIC AA 15+)

 Early Bird pre-sale tickets are on sale Tuesday 21 June @ 10 am AEST Time

Sign up now for early bird pre-sale tickets at www.goodthingsfestival.com.au
 
General Public tickets are on sale Thursday 23 June @ 10 am AEST Time
 
For more information head to www.goodthingsfestival.com.au

GOOD THINGS FESTIVAL | FACEBOOK | TWITTER | INSTAGRAM | TIKTOK

Read More
Post Image
FeaturedNews

GOOD THINGS FESTIVAL 2022 Huge Line Up Announcement!!!!!!

Australia’s largest and favourite traveling music festival, aka Good Things Festival, is officially returning to ignite mosh pits and more along the east coast in December – and we can’t wait to celebrate with you!
 
With so few things to celebrate over the past few years and a severe lack of live music and festivals, it’s about time we all had something to look forward to; and Good Things Festival is bringing the good times and then some, offering a world-class line up entirely worth the wait.
 
To kickstart the celebrations lying in wait this December, Good Things Festival 2022 has confirmed none other than one of the world’s most electrifying and successful rock bands BRING ME THE HORIZON to headline proceedings. With BRIT and Grammy nominations, multi-platinum selling releases, and over 1 billion YouTube views in their wake since forming in the early 2000s, BRING ME THE HORIZON continue to push expectations and sonic boundaries, and their live performances are nothing short of show-stopping, to say the least.

They said it would never ever happen, but an Australian miracle will also take place at Good Things Festival – for their first live performances in 19 years, iconic and gold-selling larrikins TISM will be exclusively appearing onstage.
 
Forget the tone-deaf empty platitudes, Good Things Festival has also brought American heavyweights DEFTONES to ramp up festivities. Hailing from Sacramento, California, DEFTONES are undeniably one of the most innovative and enduring alternative metal acts of all time, and they’ll be in extremely good company alongside rough-and-tumble punk favorites NOFX this December as well. Pioneers of SoCal punk and nearly four decades into their careers, NOFX will perform their 1994 iconic album ‘Punk In Drublic’ in full and all your favorites at every Good Things Festival 2022 appearance, with all the hooks and refined raucous energy primed to explode on Aussie stages.
 
Speaking of Aussie stages, a band no stranger to playing at home and abroad is none other than The Amity Affliction, with the Queensland metallers set to bring their melodic and majestic brand of metalcore to the masses. Wielding their latest release, 2021’s EP ‘Somewhere Beyond the Blue’, as well as a horde of old favorites, this is one astounding affliction you’ll be ecstatic to experience live in action.

The party will be in full swing when Japanese rockers ONE OK ROCK take the stage, with the quartet’s dynamic blend of pop-rock, post-hardcore, and alternative rock set to simultaneously ignite some good vibes and dynamic singalongs. And fresh from releasing their chart-topping 2021 album ‘Fortitude’, French progressive metal behemoths GOJIRA are ready to unleash all the earth-shattering polyrhythms, blast beats, and thought-provoking thematics fans have come to know and love on Australian soil.
 
The metal vibes keep coming with some delicious goth heaviness via Italian quintet LACUNA COIL, while noise firebrands and habitual party starters FEVER 333 will be lending their voice to the celebrations, as will the crushingly brutal Ukrainian hell-raisers JINJER. German metalcore shapeshifters ELECTRIC CALLBOY will be making their first-ever trip down under for the occasion, with superstar start-up JXDN also set to chalk up his first-ever Australian performances.
 
Of course, it wouldn’t be a proper party without the inclusion of some other punk favorites, with appearances locked in from Swedish troublemakers MILLENCOLIN and Californian pop-punk lords THE STORY SO FAR, as well as some triumphant sets from Norwegian punk rockers BLOOD COMMAND and Florida alternative giants SLEEPING WITH SIRENS to ensure a blistering blowout of epic proportions.
 
The festivities continue, with American electronic music duo 3OH!3 and urban punk duo NOVA TWINS guaranteed to get you all fired up. And heavy metal icons SABATON will arrive armed with their brand new album ‘The War To End All Wars’, choosing Australia as one of the first to hear the new tunes live, while SOULFLY will also fly the heavy metal flag, returning to their adoring down under fans after one of their longest periods away from Australia in their 30-year career.
 
But it’s not just the internationals we’ll be celebrating with this December, with an army of Aussie beloveds also ready to roll. Australian punk rock institution COSMIC PSYCHOS, a band who can claim Pearl Jam’s Eddie Vedder as a mate and musical peer, will be storming the Good Things Festival stages. Fellow Aussie staples also set to appear to include rock and electropop trio REGURGITATOR and emphatic ARIA-nominated rockers KISSCHASY, as well as formidable artisan punk storytellers CHASING GHOSTS.
 
And that’s still not all! Join some of Australia’s favorite alternative exports at Good Things Festival this year, from some melodically charged mayhem courtesy of Sydney metalcore outfit POLARIS, to some lush modern heavy charm via Melbourne’s THORNHILL – and some fiery, razor-sharp moments from everybody’s favorite screaming rap-rock-electro-pop mutants REDHOOK for good measure!

Good Things Festival Line Up

Bring Me The Horizon | Deftones | NOFX (performing ‘Punk In Drublic’ in full + all your favorites) | TISM (Exclusive: First shows in 19 years!) | The Amity Affliction | Gojira | ONE OK ROCK
 
In Alphabetical Order:
 
3OH!3 | Blood Command | Chasing Ghosts | Cosmic Psychos | Electric Callboy
Fever 333 | Jinjer | JXDN | Kisschasy (Performing ‘United Paper People’ In Full)
Lacuna Coil | Millencolin | Nova Twins | Polaris | RedHook | Regurgitator
Sabaton | Sleeping With Sirens | Soulfly | The Story So Far | Thornhill
 

DATES AND VENUES:
Friday 2nd December – Flemington Racecourse, Melbourne (LIC AA 15+)
Saturday 3 December- Centennial Park, Sydney (18+)
Sunday 4 December – Brisbane Showgrounds, Brisbane (LIC AA 15+)

 Early Bird pre-sale tickets are on sale Tuesday 21 June @ 10 am AEST Time

Sign up now for early bird pre-sale tickets at www.goodthingsfestival.com.au
 
General Public tickets are on sale Thursday 23 June @ 10 am AEST Time
 
For more information head to www.goodthingsfestival.com.au

GOOD THINGS FESTIVAL | FACEBOOK | TWITTER | INSTAGRAM | TIKTOK

Read More
Post Image
FeaturedNews

SABATON Release Their Monumental Tenth Studio Album The War To End All Wars

SABATON Release Their Monumental Tenth Studio Album The War To End All Wars + New Video and Single ‘Race To The Sea’ Out Now

“It’s a work of art…”BRAVE WORDS

“…a masterclass in war history. ‘Soldier of Heaven’ delivers on the musical front on top of the historical one.”
METAL SUCKS

“The War to End All Wars shows the best of both worlds: it is faithful to the classic Sabaton sound, yet it also manages to surprise even an old fan. One of their strongest works to this day!”INFERNO MAGAZINE

“Epic choirs, wonderful guitar soli and excellent drumming make this album to another milestone on the Swedes’ path.”POWERMETAL.DE

Today, the eagerly awaited new studio album from Swedish war chroniclers SABATON finally sees the day of the light: “The War To End All Wars” is out NOW. Highly praised by international media, the tenth masterpiece of the Swedish metal force is determined to shake the world in its foundations, introducing a new era in the band’s remarkable career.

Stream the album: https://music.sabaton.net/TheWarToEndAllWars
Order your physical copy: https://sabat.one/TWTEAWAlbum

Australian Physical: HERE

The band states:
“With our last album, The Great War, we found that we had only scratched the surface in terms of the powerful stories of courage and bravery and also the horrors that took place during the first World War. Fans would contact us and tell us these amazing stories from World War One that none of us had ever heard of before. Incredible, human tales like the British and German soldiers who put down their weapons on Christmas Eve in 1914 to share a moment of peace and reconciliation, right there on the battlefield; or the brave soldiers who fought in the White War, some 12,000 feet up in the Alps, who froze to death and whose bodies remain under the snow to this day. These are magnificent stories about everyday people who were willing to give their lives for something that was bigger than themselves. Marrying these true tales to loud, bruising, bone tingling heavy metal? Adding a second chapter to one the most frightening and liberating times in history? Why wouldn’t we make this album?”

To celebrate the release, SABATON releases a video for their fourth single ‘Race To The Sea’. ‘Race To The Sea’ is a song about the decision from Albert of Belgium during WW1 to flood the last part of Belgium and with the help of water prevent all of Belgium to fall into German hands.

‘Race To The Sea’ is the fourth single of the tenth masterpiece of SABATON, The War To End All Wars, that is released today, March 4th, 2022 via Nuclear Blast Records. Once again, SABATON will dive deep into the atrocities, miracles and happenings around WWI and take the listener to an emotional and exciting ride of 11 tracks. ‘Race To The Sea’ was preceded by the highly praised ‘Christmas Truce’, the massive hit ‘Soldier Of Heaven’ and overly popular ‘The Unkillable Soldier’.

SABATON is a five-piece heavy metal band from Falun, Sweden. Since the band’s formation in 1999, SABATON has achieved quadruple Platinum sales and performed colossal concerts in over fifty countries.

The band’s ninth studio album, The Great War, released on July 19, 2019, is a musically rich concept album capturing the sinister atmosphere of World War I – thus continuing the band’s trademark style of telling unforgettable stories from merciless battlefields all over the planet.

SABATON, signed to the world’s biggest heavy metal label, Nuclear Blast Records, played “The Great Tour” at major European festivals, and throughout North America, and Eastern Europe in support of The Great War.

SABATON has put the “COVID downtime” to good use, writing, recording, and releasing a variety of stand-alone singles and music videos. The band played its first post-pandemic date on July 9, performing in front of 40,000 fans when they headlined the Exit Festival in Serbia.

As you might guess… There’s no end in sight for this unstoppable war machine anytime soon!

More info:
www.sabaton.net
www.facebook.com/sabaton
www.instagram.com/sabaton
www.nuclearblast.de/sabaton
www.twitter.com/sabaton
www.youtube.com/c/Sabaton

Read More
Post Image
Album ReviewReviews

Sabaton – The Great War

Review by Casper

Sabaton has produced a plethora of celebrated songs in their own unique fashion focussed primarily around the history of warfare and is hosts of notable protagonists, but evidently, the band has chosen their 20th anniversary year to deliver their very finest collection in The Great War.

It always seemed inevitable that Sabaton would eventually tackle an entire time period or conflict for a concept album and, as Joakim Brodén explained to me recently, the subject such as The Battle of Passchendaele in The Price of a Mile and Cliffs of Gallipoli eleven years ago for their 2008 offering The Art of War.

Listen in to Joakim explaining more here

Despite the band’s history of successfully melding heavy metal music and factual historical events and our lofty expectations for this concept collection, Sabaton has managed to achieve new levels of brilliance with this heaving behemoth of an album, worthy of the august title, The Great War.

The collection itself is available for pre-order in three formats, namely Standard Edition consisting of the songs in sequence, The Soundtrack Edition sans vocals and lyrics altogether and The Historical Edition.

The Historical Edition complete with short narrations is the pick of the three for me although it makes perfect sense to buy all three in their box set, The Great Box edition.   The narrations afford this album an additional dimension of appeal for the Sabaton faithful and history buffs alike.  To supplement the brilliant lyrics that Sabaton have always managed to create, bursting with historical accuracies and period terminology, the narrations bless us with more historical context to supplement the individual songs already vast appeal.

The first track has narrator giving an account of Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria being assassinated on June 28, 1914, beginning the chain of events culminating into WWI.  It is narrated so very well that the additional appeal is immediately evident and as The Future Of Warfare unfolds the realisation arrives that melodically, historically, musically and lyrically, Sabaton have tackled The Great War with a truly great collection.  Nothing short of a masterwork.

The Seven Pillars of Wisdom brilliantly summarises the period and circumstances surrounding Thomas Edward Lawrence who through exploits becoming the stuff of legend, became known as Lawrence of Arabia.  This track again is demonstrative of Sabaton’s ability to match such legendary subject matter with suitably soaring musical accompaniment. 

Sabaton continues their bewilderingly brilliant ability to keep history alive through thoroughly magnificent metal music and 82nd All The Way describes the very beginnings of the 82nd Division.  The ‘All American’ division which remains to this day as the 82nd Airborne and the heroics of one its most distinguished servicemen and recipient of the Medal of Honor, Sgt Alvin Cullum York. 

Besides the magnificent accompanying music, it is brilliant to hear ‘Death From Above’, represented in the lyrics…a more contemporary motto for the 82nd which accompanies their older moniker All The Way represented in the title.  Again Sabaton has the detail and factual accounts so well represented in their songs. 

Attack Of The Dead Men musically and lyrically describes what must stand as one of the most horrific sights of The Great War in events during the attack at Osowiec Fortress in 1915.  Blinded, blodied, gasping and staggering from the chlorine gas bombardment were the remnants of the Russian 226th Infantry Regiment.  The German troops watched in horror as those who should have already been dead, continued what mast have been their sole remaining purpose with what life was left in continuing their attack.  German troops apparently panicked and retreated from the Attack Of The Dead Men.   Although far from a celebration of the horrors of warfare, Sabaton manage to provide such amazing music to this tale as the troops, and the gas seem to march relentlessly thought the music.  As is the case with The Red Baron in that musically Sabaton have injected all the urgency and fury one presumes of a dogfight between any of the Aces, let alone against Manfred von Richthofen. 

Fields Of Verdun has already been released to resounding acclaim and was presumably released as a single because it sets the scene of the entire collection to utter perfection. The longest battle in history lasting over 300 days and claiming an average of 70,000 lives every month.  Sitting as track nine in sequence on the album this provides the collection with an additional dimension of sombre reflection.

In Flanders Fields afford a special reverence and honour to complete this musical account of WW1.  A simple choral version of the song derived from the famous John McCrae poem that is widely regarded as the most solemn account of the war to end all wars.

All considered, the mastery of Sabaton, the magnificent production work of Jonas Kjellgren at Black Lounge studios, the mastering by Maor Appelbaum and the brilliant artwork by Peter Sallaí represents the tried and tested cast of Sabaton success, but their work on The Great War takes all of that to a whole new level.

As is the case with a genuine masterwork, I fail to feel that my words do any justice in representing the magnitude and sheer brilliance that has been achieved by Sabaton in this collection.  All the angst of warfare written into every drum beat, bass blast, soaring guitar solo, and every vocal utterance.  The temptation to describe the events represented measured with the urgency to pay homage to the blisteringly brilliant music that accompanies the superb lyrics is a struggle indeed.  But so much more awaits you on this incredible album.  Musically, vocally, lyrically and historically, l can only offer a humble reflection that you must, simply must own this monumentally superb album. 

Sabaton will release The Great war, via Nuclear Blast Records. 

PRE-ORDER The Great War HERE

Read More